Who Gets The China?

Saying Good-Bye to Hazardous Objects

There are hundreds of things in your parents’ home you may have never noticed before. Things in the garage, storage closets, laundry room that seem totally benign and reasonable.

Then one day, you see it in use and it strikes the fear of immediate and significant injury in you. I call this “The Wooden Ladder Episode.”

One day after I probably read an aging-in-place article, I saw my parents’ garage with new eyes.

Had the garage always been this dangerously dark, even during the daytime? Was it always a minefield of tripping hazards or toxic chemicals, like leaking turpentine jugs? With the laundry out there (it’s California) one spends more time in the garage than you might think. At some point during the pandemic we installed a gaudily bright overhead task light from Amazon above the laundry, but now I realized getting into the car or the back up pantry was a visibility issue. For those of us with cataracts and glaucoma, it was even worse.

I set about investigating how we could fix this situation. I discovered the garage door opener bulb- the only other light source in a 3 car garage – was burnt out. This, at least, I could fix! Go me!

I dug through the bulb box to find a meager 60 watt bulb and went to get the ladder. 

Oh My Goodness – this wooden ladder! Death-trap would be a better word. The ladder is an old, rickety, 12 foot tall thing made out of wood. It is barely stable when folded up. The little metal chain rattles as you open it up and then with your first step you feel the desperate need to grab onto something solid and stable. Where did this thing even come from? Do they even make wooden ladders anymore? I’ve done lots of DIY and spent plenty of time at Home Depot. THe ladders they sell are all aluminum or something more stable and substantial. 

Does my dear 90-year-old dad actually get on this thing? I pray not.

After installing the new bulb that at least cast a soft glow over the cars, I expressed my concern about said ladder. My parents sort of look at me like a histrionic new parent. They apparently see nothing wrong here. I am having visions of a 9-1-1 call from the garage floor if one of them ever wants to use it. 

I begged both of them to stay off this thing. If they need a task done that requires a ladder, wait until my next visit or find a handyman. Ideally, let’s get this thing out of the house and remove the temptation. Of course, that has not happened as of 2 years later, and it still needs to be moved around the garage to access cabinets, tools, and boxes. 

But there has been acknowledgement that it is not the safest thing in the world and perhaps we can let it go or find it a new home. My mom wonders if maybe the handyman (who brings his own safe, metal ladders) would like it. Pretty sure he likes his body in working order and would politely decline.

On a visit to Home Depot recently my dad and I joked at the sight of 200 sturdy, aluminum ladders out front just waiting to find homes. He told me to keep moving along! I don’t even browse them because at this point I don’t really want my parents on ANY ladder. 

One of these days I’ll post it for free on Facebook BuyNothing or Craig’s List. Maybe it could become an antique plant holder for someone. Or eventually I’ll find a way to secretly get this darn, dangerous thing to the dump before my mom notices and drags it out of the trunk.

What danger zones have you uncovered? How did you convince your parents to let it go or are you still living with the anxiety knowing it could wreak havoc at any point?

What danger zones have you uncovered? How did you convince your parents to let it go or are you still living with the anxiety knowing it could wreak havoc at any point?